It takes a lot of time and you have to go through a lot of bad ones. Before I had a baby, I thought the simplest way to figure out what kind of gear I would need was to read reviews on sites like Baby Gear Lab and Baby Center (if only parenting were this simple.) As ergo was consistently named one of the best carriers, I felt fortunate when my sister-in-law re-gifted me her never used ergo carrier. Unfortunately, my baby did not feel the same way. I quickly discovered why the ergo was never used by my sister-in-law. Whenever I put my baby in the ergo, he cried. Not cute little kitten squeals, but full on pterodactyl type shrieks. So desperate was my little one to escape from the ergo that he would arch his back and use his feet to launch himself off of me in some kind of deranged baby suicide attempt. There was nothing ergonomic about the ergo for my baby or I, so we moved onto the baby k’tan. I loved my baby k’tan – it was soft, comfy, easy to put on and oh so cuddly. It rem...
As short as a few weeks ago, my wife gave birth to our son. He has been a treasure and a
blessing. As new parents, we learned quickly
that it is difficult to decipher what his cries mean. Most of the time I assumed he was hungry,
needed a change, or wanted to be held. I
was unaware that newborns could be bored, overstimulated, and/or
overtired. In addition, it seems that
with every few days his noises change slightly.
Lately his pitch is slightly higher, the volume has gotten louder, the
length of his cries has increased, and his cries seem to have changed meaning.
A mistake that I have been consistently making is putting a
bottle in his mouth every time he cried.
I think this is a mistake most parents make because it seems to settle
their kids down. So, the logic becomes
if it settles him down, then it must be what he wants.
The obvious problem with that thinking is that it makes you
believe that all he needs is to eat, while he may be yearning for something
else, such as a change or to be held.
The underlying problem is that as you keep doing this, he starts to
develop bad habits. For example: He’ll feed more frequently, such as needing
to be fed every hour. He eats a smaller
volume, such as drinking only 1 ounce while needing to eat 3 ounces in one
sitting.
This habit turns into a vicious cycle in which the baby is
in full control of the situation and the parents are exhausted because they are
dealing with a restless baby who needs to be tended to every hour.
My wife and I have read a couple of books prior to birth, as
well as took a class, and that really prepared us for what to expect and how to
handle each situation. In this process
of becoming parents we have applied the same rationale of reading the
literature out there and developing a mindset and philosophy in raising our
son, and developing an overarching philosophy for our household.
While there are many books out there, I really found Twelve
Hours Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old by Suzy Giordano to be a nice resource. Instead of rehashing all the points, I’m
going to share the pieces that I find to be important for parents that are
raising a child under six weeks old.
1)
Crying does no long term
physical or emotional damage.
a.
So, if you need a moment to
use the restroom or to eat something, put him or her down and do what you need
to do. A fully functional you is better
for yourself and for the baby.
2)
Unless if your child has a weight issue, feed
him/her no earlier than every two and a half hours and no later than three
hours.
a.
Even if the baby is fussy
or crying, and you know that he is well fed from the prior feeding, has been
changed, and you are tending to him/her.
Then try to distract him or try to soothe him until the time has been reached.
i. The benefits of him learning to be on your schedule and being in
a structured environment is a lesson in patience and delayed
gratification. In addition, it teaches
you and him how to soothe him when he is upset.
3)
At six weeks, if the doctor
says he is at a healthy weight and is thriving, then put him in his own room or
space.
a.
Up until this point you
probably have the baby in the room like we do.
Circle on the calendar the day you are going to move him/her out. This will be challenging because there is
comfort in knowing you can hear him breathe or make noises while you try to
rest, but this is an essential step in getting him on a sleep schedule.
Thanks for reading and I’ll put up a follow-up post shortly
as we move into the next phase. If you
have questions or comments please reach out or write on the board, and please
subscribe for future posts!! Thanks
again!!
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